You know, when I was younger, I might’ve thought that my life was better when my parents were still together, even though they fought all the time. But now, looking back, I realize that not only am I better off for having not had them constantly fighting, but I’m also better off because I only had to live with my dad part of the time.

My dad and I fought constantly, we have always had very different views on a lot of things. He was needlessly strict, conservative, and bordered on cruel. Because my parents got divorced, I only had to be with him every Thursday and every other weekend, plus one month in the Summer and alternating Christmases and Thanksgivings. Thinking about how much I hated that time, and how stressful it was to be under the same roof as him, I can’t imagine actually living with him.

Because they got divorced, my mother’s house was a safe space for me to get away from him. Because they got divorced, they didn’t have to fight over how to parent me when they disagreed; my mother did what she thought was right, and I only had to put up with my dad’s attempts when I was with him. Because they got divorced, I was able to have a happy, healthy relationship with my mother, even if I couldn’t manage the same with him. If they had stayed married, my relationship with both parents would be strained because of his bullshit.

So, if you’re a parent and you’re staying in your marriage because you think it’s better for the kids, take it from me, and basically every other child of divorced parents I know; it’s not. Don’t do it. Get divorced.